Okay... he walks in... and... he... sees, no, smells her! Yeah! And it makes him... horny... NO, Hungry. Oh, God. Yes. It's so simple. It was right there in front of our noses for so long. I can't believe I was the first to put it down! -From the hand held recorder of a bestselling author. Well, okay. If you guys think so. But I personally like being called "Shitbag of the Morning." - Discussion over the lyrics to a popular song. Rule number one. No. Shut the fuck up. Stop cheering. Rule number one: now that this hat is on, I’m in fucking charge, got it, kids? Now, which of you is the oldest? Okay. Answer these questions, smartass. Where am I? Does it get warm here? If so, which way is north? And finally do you have any more carrots? - Go in there and gaff tape her fucking bangles together. - Accidental recording at the “We Are The World" session. Somebody’s got to scare 'em the fuck apart. Somebody’s got to tie ‘em tight. Somebody’s got to taste a little God in their mouth as they stomp walk with head nod in full on prestissimo. Might as well be us. – The Ultimate Warrior talking to his body. Circa 1988 I made it all up... - From the death bed of Dr. Ernst Grafenberg That’s not what the Master means, Toddy. In, “Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness”, the “life” part refers to all the lives that one master might be responsible for and therefore righted to have. Right? Clearly, for a master to pursue happiness freely a master needs the lives of his servants, horses, food animals and arguably even the life in his crops and trees, right? Makes sense to me. - Conversation between Jefferson’s Servants. Well, it was originally: "Shakin' out a chili-dog/Outside the Tasty Freeze." Then I went to: "Givin' her a chili-dog/Outside the Tasty Freeze." I toned it way down. Right? - The Coug That’s what I’ve been telling you all along. But you never listened. No, you gotta hear it from everyone else in the world before you believe it. -The Mirror of David Koresh Either Wang knows every fucking thing, or he's a really lucky liar. - Jack Burton to a mirror I got to eat that apple before he eats me. - Smartest Pig in Eden When I brought her into the room she immediately asked what was under the covers on the bed. I could see she was scared. So I laughed in that way that always makes people comfortable. You know, that kind of laugh that sounds like a blood fed baby panther? Anyway, Diary, from then on she was cool, no matter what she said or thought. -From the Diary of Phil Spector Well, Stan said he didn't care what this guy's insides looked like. Go ask him. Whatever. You're just being a dick. Meanwhile, I'm just gunna keep adding bones until I get in trouble. -Overheard at Marvel Comics in the 60's Sometimes the greatest advancements come along after having said, “Fuck it.” Giving up can be a powerful thing. - Julius Robert Oppenheimer "I'll be black in all the paintings, right?" -Jesus of Nazareth on the cross. "I know this great place to eat. It's way out there in that field away from the stink." -Street Quote London 1870 "They've got doughnuts and shit in that one mixing room in the front. That cracker with the braids brought 'em in. What?" - Accidental recording at the "We Are The World" session. "So, when do we fuck the dead stuff?" - A newly appointed high level mason.

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